Sunday, February 7, 2010

Don't Leave Your Wife Out

Small group leaders and flock leaders carry a lot of responsibility in their ministry roles. Besides their own walk with the Lord, small group leaders carry responsibility for leading and shepherding their small group members. And flock leaders are responsible for shepherding the small group leaders in their flock and helping them grow as leaders. But for those of you who are married, your first area of ministry and spiritual leadership is with your wife.

But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. (1 Corinthians 11:3)

I want to concentrate on three areas:

  • Prayer - Pray for your wife and your marriage. Pray with your wife. Have your ears and eyes open for opportunities to take an issue or a trial to prayer. Then take the lead. Be the one to say, "Let's pray about that" (i.e., HBC "Let's pray now" principle). Put your arm around your wife or hold her hand and pray with her, for her and for your marriage.
  • Small Group - Encourage your wife to be in a small group. Make it possible. Get home from work to watch your young children so she can go to a women's small group. Or, if at all possible, be in a small group with her (yes, even if that means you have to step away from your men's small group). This is a very practical week-to-week way of helping your wife focus on her walk with the Lord. You know how much we all need the mutual ministry of small groups to encourage and exhort us in our walk. Don’t leave your wife out of this.
  • Accountability - Ask for and allow yourself to be held accountable in these areas. Model this to your small group. Know the state of the marriages of the men in your small group. Go deeper than "In what ways have I demonstrated love and respect to my wife this week?" Have your small group pray for members' wives by name and for the future spouses of single members.


The best Christian marriages are a threefold cord with husband and wife both passionately pursuing Jesus Christ.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him--a threefold cord is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)

Be the spiritual leader in your marriage. Don’t leave your wife out.