When my wife and I left Harvest Bible Chapel in the spring after 23+ years, we sent an email to inform friends we had made over the years there in small group and other ministries. We received many wonderful replies. In one reply a former ministry partner said they wished we had just left quietly. He wished anyone who leaves Harvest would do so quietly. (The fact that people at Harvest have a position on how people who leave Harvest should do so is informative on its own.)
The long-standing Harvest position is that it is more godly to leave quietly. (This isn't a biblical position. More about that in a future blog post. For now, see Ecclesiastes 3:7. There is "a time to keep silence, and a time to speak.") Anyone who talks is somehow against Harvest, sowing discord, or attacking Harvest. If you are ex-Harvest -- or if you are still there -- you will recognize these descriptions:
- "(Insert name) went rogue"
- "The (insert couples name) got sideways"
- And finally, sadly, something about the wife being the problem
We knew some, if not all, of these false narratives would be spread about us if we spoke up, if we left, and especially if we didn't leave quietly. Still we knew we could not leave quietly. Let me share why.
(Before I do, it's important you know that all three of those false narratives were spread about us by a combination of Harvest elders, pastors, and directors. Even worse was the ugly lie spread by some at Harvest that our marriage was in trouble. Contrary to that particularly hurtful lie, Kim and I celebrated 34 years of marriage in August.)
So many people leaving Harvest quietly over the years without telling us what was going on behind the scenes contributed to the sinful mess that Harvest became. Their silence served to assure those of us staying that things were OK among the staff. Their silence helped us buy the narrative that anyone who did speak up was bitter and was attacking Harvest. Their silence fed our defense of all things Harvest. And worst of all, their silence emboldened a narcissistic man entrusted with a leadership and shepherding role over thousands of people, who instead was abusive, used people, lied, lorded over people, picked fights and showed himself to be a lover of money.
For years at Harvest, I fought for and defended what I thought was right. (How I wish I had not done so.) In late January and early February, I heard firsthand and read accounts of the abusive, sinful, evil behavior that had been going on for years. I knew immediately I had to do everything I could to make it right. I knew speaking up was counter-cultural at Harvest. My repentance
statement was met with quick forgiveness by many. However, the response of several other elders was starkly different. When efforts for real change were met with indifference, push back and outright opposition, I resigned
as an elder. If I had followed the unwritten rules of Harvest culture, I would have done so quietly with an acceptably positive narrative to explain. But I had to follow God and His word. Here are a few of the passages that guided me.
In 1 Peter 5:1-4, Peter exhorts fellow elders on how an elder is to shepherd the flock of God entrusted to him -- exercising oversight, being an example to the flock. Verse 4 is both a wonderful promise and a stark reminder that elders will give an account to the Chief Shepherd one day soon for how we shepherd the flock of God. Kyrie eleison.
In John 21, John recounts the "Do you love me?" exchange between Jesus and Peter. Jesus tells Peter that to love Him means to feed His lambs, tend His sheep (i.e., literally pasture the sheep), and feed His sheep. Shepherding means doing all that is needed to tend the sheep. Doing so is to be a labor of love for Jesus' followers.
In John 10:11-15, Jesus teaches that good shepherds don't leave the sheep in the sheepfold with a wolf. Shepherds protect the sheep, fight for the sheep, and warn the sheep of danger. Good shepherds lay down their life for the sheep.
As an elder at Harvest, I was entrusted with a shepherding responsibility. The biblical expectations of a shepherd -- exercise oversight, be an example; tend the sheep whatever it takes; warn and protect the sheep, lay down your life for the sheep -- drove what I did in the strength of the Holy Spirit in January, February and March. That is why we could not leave Harvest quietly. That is why we did not leave Harvest quietly. That is why I resigned publicly from the elder board warning the sheep and calling for radical reform at Harvest.
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