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And That's Enough

Friday afternoon I sat on an exam table at my pain management doctor's office as he gave me 31 Botox injections in key spots in my head (including between my eyes which was fun), my neck and my shoulders. It was the latest step to combat chronic headaches that I have now been battling for fifteen months. I should know later today or tomorrow if the shots are helpful for me. The Botox shots follow a rule of three - three days to take effect, three weeks for full efficacy, and the effect typically lasts three months. 

For some reason I am more anxious about the results of the Botox shots than other steps we have taken to try to combat these headaches. I say we because my wife, Kim, is right beside me in this whole trial. She is affected as I have had a headache on average more than two out of every three days for the last year and a quarter. Often those headaches are severe enough that I need to take rescue meds and sleep a few hours. When I was at thirteen months I calculated that I had slept roughly an entire month in that time because of these headaches. Of course that has impacted my wife too. But she has been wonderful through all of this. She, like me, just wants healing.

This morning as I read in a YouVersion devotional I do with a group of FCA guys, I came across this statement. "Today, may you decide not to resent your difficulty but to treat it as a gift. You don’t have to enjoy it – but you can celebrate that it signifies God’s work in your life." I have thought of this as spiritually significant since the event in my primary care provider's office in October 2022 that resulted in a 4-day hospital stay and started this whole trial. But treat it as a gift? That is asking a lot. Can I do that as I wait to see if the 31 Botox shots I got in my head, neck and shoulders Friday are going to be effective in fighting my chronic headaches? Today is the big day. We should know after three days. I wait expectantly after dealing with these headaches for fifteen months. But I must be OK with either outcome knowing that God is allowing this trial using it to transform me into the likeness of his Son (Romans 8:28-29). So there is an outcome where these headaches are my thorn in the flesh. I don't want that outcome. I am not sure what I will do with that outcome. But I know God. And that's enough. 

And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent. (John 17:3)

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